Readers' Reviews

How to talk to a Widower by Jonathan Tropper

'I had a wife, her name was Hailey. Now she's gone and so am I.'

29 year-old Doug Parker has been in a trough of bereavement since his wife died in a plane crash a year before.  He is her second husband;  she was more than a decade older and had a son, now 15, from her failed first marriage, and it's anyone's guess as to how she and Doug would have fared over the long haul, but at the time of her death, life was GREAT. 

 Now it's not:  Doug is wallowing in grief, apathy and Jack Daniels, her son Russ is taking his sorrow out on classmates, hanging out with bad dudes and dabbling in soft drugs.  They are both living in Hailey's house in the New York suburbs, though Russ is officially residing with his father Jim and second wife Angie, of the golden body and killer lips.  He hates it there ( 'I sleep below their bedroom, man, one of these days they'll come through the ceiling - and you should hear the noise they make:  it's grossing me out!') and wants to come home, but Doug is not up to looking after himself, let alone an angry and grieving 15 year-old.  He just wants everything to go away, especially all the kind, well-intentioned neighbours and friends who are willing to take him anywhere (even strip clubs) to 'bring him out of himself'.

And how circumstances and people conspire 'to bring Doug out of himself' is the purpose of this enormously engaging, farcical tragi-comedy.  The characters are unforgettable, especially Doug's superbly dysfunctional nuclear family:  Mum, a great if faded beauty and a moderately successful broadway actress - this means that she hogs the limelight and tosses off one-liners with careless aplomb.  She also 'self-medicates'.  Dad, a distinguished and handsome former surgeon, now battling Alzheimer's, but still sometimes able to take command in times of crisis (and there are so many).  Twin sister Clair, aggressive, brilliant, loud and foul-mouthed - and three month's pregnant:  she has decided to divorce her husband and move in with Doug and Russ to force them back into the real world.  'It's time to date again, for f-ck's sake!'  Last but not least, little sister Deborah the hotshot lawyer, about to get married to Doug's ex-best friend, and all she wants is the perfect wedding without the family f-cking it all up, as usual.  Is that too much to ask?  Well, is it?

 Needless to say, our hero has no choice but to pull himself together, if only to avoid the tender concern and ministrations of his family - and one of his late wife's friends, who wants to provide him with more than her weekly meat-loaf.  And she does, too.  Doug is on the road to recovery whether he likes it or not, but how he gets there is a fascinating and poignant journey;  he must leave behind 'the sense memory of what if felt like to be whole and to be hers, what it used to feel like to be me', and live in an altered world with his new self.

This book is smart, funny and wise, and Jonathan Tropper proves winningly and conclusively that laughter is the best medicine - after you've swallowed the bitter pill. 

Reviewer: Julia Kuttner 

14 May 2008